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1) Clemens took the load off his fanny and put the weight on McNamee, Pettitte, Knoblauch, The Mitchell Report, his agent/lawyer, Dr. Taylor, Bud Selig, Major League Baseball, the MLB Players Association, his wife, his mother, his nanny, your wife, your mother, your nanny, The Band, Oliver Stone and whatever a vegan is.
2) Roger the dodger blamed everyone but himself for everything--except, of course, for "being too trusting....and too nice to everyone." Rog, hop off the cross--you're wasting good wood.
3) McNamee's no savior, either--an unctuous drug dealer who was looking out for his "friends" (aka clientele)--but he WAS cooler, calmer and more credible than a man who'd performed before millions for decades. How? (see #4)
4) The truth tends to relax people when they speak it.
5) Rog the dodge never took HGH but it was ok for his wife to grow a third ear from it.
6) Some republicans despise Henry Waxman so intensely that they'll side with a bloody-buttocked, ex-titan of baseball who was clearly perjuring himself....but did win those bitchin' 7 Cy Young Awards.
7) He did the committee a favor by contacting his long-lost nanny after years, had both himself and Team Clemens talk about those good ol' days of yore by the Canseco pool and then...uh....um....oh yeah--put her in touch with the committee three days later.
8) The Dodge seems to be a summa cume laude grad of the Pete Rose School of Denial and Hubris--a mail-order school?--where he majored in all-American fronts.
9) When asked by the Rep. Sycophant from Missouri which uniform he'd wear into the Hall of Fame--or as it stands now, which one he WOULD have worn--no one shouted out "San Quentin!"
10) Mark McGwire may have a new playpal in his Irvine gated-from-reality community.
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